Looking to the future

This blog contains "forward-looking" statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 regarding business strategies, market potential, future financial and operational performance and other matters. Such forward-looking statements include, but are not limited to, statements regarding the anticipated benefits of the transaction and other statements identified by words such as "may," "will," "intend," "should," "expect," "might," "dunno," "maybe," "guess," "like, who knows, man?" or similar expressions.

These statements are based on management's current expectations and beliefs, warped, hopelessly blinkered and woolly as they may be, and are subject to uncertainty and changes in circumstances, including, but not limited to, the satisfaction of the closing conditions to any transaction and the parties' performance of their obligations under the agreements; changes in our plans, strategies and intentions; the competitiveness and quality of our products and services; our ability to retain, hire and develop key employees; shit happening; the intensity of competition; just dropping the ball, or blabbing during a big drunk in Vegas and those big guys in the morning saying they had photos and video but god that girl had such a sweet ass.

Any forward-looking information is not a guarantee of future performance and actual results may vary materially from those expressed or implied by the statements herein, due to changes in economic, business, competitive, technological, strategic and/or regulatory factors, as well as factors affecting our operations and businesses. Like being total pricks who've been insulated in some dumb private school and business-school make-believe cosy bubble since we were about 10, and who don't know our ass from our elbow in the real world of business and commerce, and have the MBAs to prove it.

More detailed information about these factors as they relate to us may be found in the section entitled "Shit and the Fan" in our Annual Report on Form 10-K, filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission. They never read that stuff anyway.

We are under no obligation to, and expressly disclaim any obligation to, update or alter the forward-looking statements contained in this blog, whether as a result of new information, future events, the bloody obvious, alien invasion, or otherwise. And hey, we don't have a f**king crystal ball, you know. However, we might just change it later to make it look like we were smarter earlier, because it's pretty easy to do that in a blog.

Inspired by an AOL press release.

Image: br3akthru / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Enjoyed this? You'll enjoy Age of Conversation 3, and so will charity: water who receive all proceeds from sales of this book.

Views: 2

Tags: future, legalese, managementspeak, satire

Add a Comment

You need to be a member of 38minutes to add comments!

Join 38minutes

Members

Latest Network Activity

Chris Goodwin commented on Chris Goodwin's photo
Thumbnail

apprentice_tshirt

"Inspired by the first episode of The Apprentice 2014. "
yesterday
Chris Goodwin posted a photo
yesterday
Twig added a discussion to the group Wanted; Jobs, Skills, Resource
Thumbnail

Wanted - Script Writer

TWIG WORLD – Script WriterImmediate StartLocation: GlasgowOrganisation: Twig WorldContact Link: www.twig-world.comContact Email: recruitment@twig-world.comSalary: based on experience Twig World is a dynamic multi-platform producer and distributor of factual film and digital resources distributed to schools internationally. We are looking to appoint a script writer to work in our Glasgow office. The ideal…See More
Thursday
Ed Walker commented on Nicola Sinclair's group 'This way for talent'
"Hi All, I'm a graphic designer with over 12 years of experience, now back home in Scotland to find new roles and build new partnerships. I freelance as a branding, motion graphics and UI specialist and have experience working with a host of…"
Wednesday
Ed Walker posted a status
"My new site is up and running at: http://edwalkerdesign.com"
Wednesday
Tony Dunworth added a discussion to the group Wanted; Jobs, Skills, Resource
Thumbnail

Wanted: Marketing Co-ordinator at Graphical House

Marketing Co-ordinator at Graphical HouseGlasgowFull or part timeCompetitive salary with benefitsBackgroundGraphical House is a highly motivated creative team based in Glasgow, and with an international outlook.Job PurposeWe are seeking a marketing co-ordinator to assist in creating and implementing a new marketing strategy for the business.Candidate CriteriaThe ideal candidate will have professional experience within the creative industries with a degree in marketing, or a proven track record…See More
Tuesday
Matthew Hill added a discussion to the group Wanted; Jobs, Skills, Resource
Thumbnail

NOW HIRING - GRAPHIC DESIGNER – DIGITAL, UI, UX, 2D, UI Animation (Dundee)

A great opportunity to join a small, passionate, expanding team in a fast paced leading global business in the Digital Media sector.   As Graphic Designer, you will be responsible for creating well designed 2D graphics & animated UI content for a range of household brands for commercial digital applications. You should have strong commercial awareness and understand how effective graphic design will deliver value and results to our clients…See More
Oct 16
kenny shaw added 2 discussions to the group Wanted; Jobs, Skills, Resource
Oct 15

Companies, Groups and Organizations.

Contributors

38minutes is run by a small group of
volunteers, including:

 

Nicola Sinclair

Site editor

 

 

 

Gavin Robertson

Groups Co-ordinator

 

 

 

Espen Brunborg

Runs the Web group

 

 

 

Ashley Smith Hammond

Runs Digital Innovation group

 

 

 

Frank McGowan

Runs TV & Film group

 

 

 

Brian Baglow

Runs Gaming group

 

 

 

Would you like to volunteer? Get in touch!

Photos

Loading…
  • Add Photos
  • View All

Videos

  • Add Videos
  • View All

© 2014   Created by Nicola Sinclair.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service