Welcome, come on in, pull up a pew, kick back a bit....relax, I won't bite.

[Mark MacLachlan]

Greetings friends old and new. Michty what a fortnight it's been. Derided, abused, ridiculed, shamed, mortified and condemned...but enough of Tiger Woods problems. How the blinky blonk have I been?

Well the world kept spinning, real friends came to the fore and called, emailed, visited and some even sent actual letters in long hand! My family and I are immensely grateful for all the well wishes that have come our way.

As you'll no doubt have heard or read, the Sunday Times have given me the opportunity to tell my side of the story about the vile lies and one man propaganda machine I had supposedly told and become.

By opening up the blog I'm giving those desperate souls who were keen to see if they got a mention, the same sensitive bairns who googled their name against Cheese and poured over the cache looking for the slightest whiff of insult, the chance to see what all the fuss was about. You know who you are, you cheeky monkeys, fear not, I'll not embarrass you by letting everyone know your names, that'll be our little secret. For now.

Interestingly since I closed the blog down the page visits have just kept climbing, I dare say that now it's back on-line it'll drop back into the relative obscurity from whence it came.

My biggest surprise was the speed with which my world imploded. One minute I'm pootering about here having the occasional mocking dig at politicos and their tame pets in the Scottish media, the next I'm exposed as Beelzebub in tweed. Within minutes of the story appearing the spittle flecked keyboard warriors began reaching for their collective Thesauruses and in an orgiastic spoffing of biblical dimensions the bitter mal mots were soon in full flow.
Six hundred plus google news and blog checks describing one as 'odious', 'poisonous', 'despicable', 'venomous' 'evil', 'loathsome', 'cowardly', 'poisonous', 'filthy', 'foul mouthed', 'bullying' and '46' were simply too much for one mere mortal to take, and then the journalists and bloggers started. Did I mention 'poisonous'?

I've removed the post regarding Wardog, the language I used in it was too robust for a man of my delicate sensitivities, and to be honest I cringed every time I used it, knowing that some ladies were on occasion liable to amble past and peruse my musings.

The rest of the blog is intact. As of today I haven't received a summons, been carted off to jail, spat at in the street nor been waylaid by footpads or neer-do-wells in the dark closes of Dumfries.

So if you're a politician or a journalist with the incredibly thin skin that bruises as easy as an autumn peach, then please contact me and ask me to remove any post I may have put up here that you deem to be beyond the pale.

I would caution anyone posting, that anything deemed by me, to be deliberately inflammatory, insidious or downright evil, no matter how sphincter collapsing funny, will not be tolerated. Maybe.

The views on the life politic, philosophical, societal, historical or even artistically in here are all mine. Mine I tell you. Enjoy.